BABYMOON BLISS
🌷In February 2024, as we were preparing for our third embryo transfer in March, Phil and I decided to book the trip we had been prolonging and putting off for years. We officially booked our flights to Europe, London and Paris to be exact, for September 2024. At the time, our future was uncertain. We had already had one miscarriage with our GC, along with a failed second transfer. Our third transfer was our final opportunity with our angle Kimmy. We knew that come September 2024, we would either be anticipating the arrival of our baby OR we would desperately need a reprieve from our life (unsure of where we would be with finding a new carrier and starting the gestational surrogacy process all over again). Oh, how we hoped the trip would be the former. Thankfully, our vacation is for the former.
As we approached this 29 WEEKS of pregnancy, we excitedly planned and packed for our babymoon!
When we booked our trip seven months ago, we chatted about how exciting this trip would be if it was a baby moon. And since becoming pregnant, we have been talking constantly about how this trip is going to be the most magical, magnificent trip ever. Not only because we’ll be exploring the world together (Phil and my favorite thing to do,) eating amazing food, chatting with locals, seeing beautiful art and scenery, but because, unlike many vacations, we will be SO EXCITED to come home and be even closer to meeting our baby girl.
When I reflect on the past months, I think about how, as much as we have tried to stay present, enjoy the last months as a family of three (me, Phil, and Darla - our Frenchie), we have also spent an immense amount of time and energy focusing on the future. This trip holds so much meaning for us because it is the culmination of these two facets of our lives – enjoying lovely life moments together as a couple as we simultaneously celebrate and get ready for our new, future life, as a family of four.
As much as I have tried to be present, enjoy little, peaceful moments, I have realized how equally important it is to have something for which to look forward. I have never been so scared of anything in my life, than the prospect of possibly not growing my family. Approaching that third transfer was absolute hell. When I think back to that time, I think about how critical it was for me/us to have something for which to look forward. Yes, this trip was a prime example, but, more importantly, I knew that if the transfer did not work, Phil and I would keep pushing forward and fighting to find another carrier, fighting for the future we desperately wanted. Knowing that we would fight together, regardless of what the future held, was something that I could look forward to back then, and something I still do today.
My dad always said, “You gotta have something to look forward to in life; it makes the rough days a little easier.” When I was younger, I used to think this meant a trip or an adventure. Now, I know that that “something” can be as simple and profound as a partnership. When I reflect on my marriage with Phil, I am so excited, so grateful, so happy that I get to do life with him, not just today, not just in Europe, not just in the happy, exciting moments, but every day in the future. When I think about our future, it makes every present moment better. 🌷
