MAYO MOVES
🌷If you know anyone has dealt with infertility, you know the only thing that matters to them, the thing they want most in this world, is to get pregnant. To see those two lines.
When I began my infertility journey in 2022, I felt that. All I wanted was to get pregnant. It felt like getting pregnant was the only thing that would start to heal my broken heart.
Fast forward to today, and the last thing in the world I want to happen, is for me to get pregnant. And my sad, broken heart – it has started to heal, knowing that Baby is just around the corner.
I mentioned months ago, I randomly got my period after years of it being absent (due to a uterine scarring condition – Asherman’s Syndrome). I never thought I would have a period again. When I got my period, there was this little piece of hope that I could “maybe” carry a baby in the future. Then I proceeded to get my period on time over the next few months, and then it didn’t come, as planned, this week.
If I was a “normal” infertile patient, a missing period is a sign of pregnancy, and a reason for joy.
For me, a missing period was a moment of terror.
Let me backup.
When I got my period, I knew I needed to see a doctor, as my body wasn’t doing what I, nor the medical professionals, thought it would ever do again. I met with a local doctor, and I very quickly realized that unless a doctor has a plethora of experience with Ashman’s Syndrome, I would be subjecting myself to bad medical advice. I was told by this specific doctor, if I didn’t try to remove the scar tissue NOW, I would be subjecting myself to cancer dangers. Immediately. This was the exact opposite message I was given by the Mayo clinic in 2023, after I underwent my 5th surgery. No offense to the local doc, but I’m going to take the Mayo’s advice (which was that, if I wasn’t in pain, it was completely fine for my uterus to stay scarred.)
So, I broke up with that “local doctor,” and went on the waiting list to see my Asherman’s specialist at Mayo.
Two things happened this week. One, I missed my scheduled period. Two, after months of waiting, I got to meet with my surgeon at Mayo.
To be clear, I am not pregnant. My husband and I are extremely careful, knowing how risky it would be for me to be. I also confirmed with multiple tests.
On the one hand, it was very cathartic hearing from an expert in Asherman’s that it is very common for people with Asherman’s to have irregular, or missing periods, and confirm there is no medical need to remove the scar tissue.
On the other hand, the doctor reminded us how dangerous a pregnancy would be. Although it is extremely unlikely I would get pregnant with uterine scarring, it is possible. If I got pregnant, and the scarring is still present, one of two things would happen. One, I would miscarry. Two, I would not miscarry, but the baby’s growth would be so strained, it would cause massive physical disruption to the development, and I would have to terminate the pregnancy.
Digest that.
The only feeling more frightening than telling a woman she can never get pregnant, is telling her, IF you get pregnant, you will miscarry or you will have to terminate the pregnancy.
The question mark for Phil and me is whether there is still scarring in my uterus. There most likely is, and thus the reason my period has disappeared, once again. The only way to know, however, is to go under the knife, once again.
So, in a couple weeks, I will be back on the operating floor at Mayo.
If there is scarring, we are leaving it alone. My body has proven itself over the past years, that it will continue to scar, regardless of how many times we try to surgically remove it. If for some miracle, there is no scarring, there will be a [future] question of whether we could do an embryo transfer on myself.
Stay tuned.🌷
