Celebrating 2 months of evie and 3 as a day
🌷This past week, Phil and I celebrated three years of marriage and Evie turning two months' old!
"Celebrate" is a loaded word because Phil was on a work trip this week (the first since Evie was born.) Thankfully, I had my parents to help in the evening.
Regardless, I really have no idea how people raise children on their own. I suppose, if you are in that situation (by choice or not) there is "nothing to do, but to do it." I gotta be honest with you, not having my partner around was difficult. So. So. Difficult.
It's not just the obvious help - making bottles, changing her, sharing the night shift, helping around the house - but rather the emotional support I missed the most. The conversations about what was working, what was not working. How Evie was reacting or not reacting to what we were doing. No one gets those conversations as deeply as your partner, and no one feels the intensity of purpose behind those conversations, like your partner. Not having him here for multiple nights was really tough. Really flipping tough.
No one will love our daughter as much as we do, which is probably why I crave the conversations with him so much. This week, I had the most intense anxiety about something bad happening to him while he was away. I was literally worried he was going to get in a plane crash. I made him text me, promising that would not happen.
On the evening of Evie's two month "birthday," Phil made it home safely. He was so excited to see me, Evie, and Darla. We were all equally excited to have him back. However, I was so emotionally and mentally drained, I couldn't see straight. I felt my body going catatonic.
After I allowed myself a small pity party of exhaustion, while Phil cuddled with Evie, I realized how freaking fortunate I am, not just because I have a husband who wants to be an involved father, but because I am with someone for whom I DON'T look forward to time away, and equally important, he isn't looking for a "break" from his home life. For all the exhaustion, sleepless nights, vomiting, screaming (all of which Evie is a pro,) at least I know that I get to wade through this parenthood caos who wants to be a part of it just as much as I do.
As for Evie, her second month of life has been a transitioning period. We've introduced apple juice into her diet because she is so constipated (after introducing formula,) and thus, so, so uncomfortable - and she lets us know this by screaming bloody murder. The social smiling makes it all worth it, but f*(%, we sure do hope Evie's third month of life involves more comfort for us all.🌷
