ARE WE CREATING A MONSTER?

🌷This week’s mom win: I discovered a way to both bathe myself, watch over Darla (so she doesn’t attack little Evie’s feet), AND keep an eye on my precious screaming monster. The DockATot. Placing the DockATot on the bathroom floor, shower door open, allowed for both Darla to watch me shower AND I to watch over my precious spawn.

With three weeks of parenthood under my belt, I am the last person that should be commenting on anyone’s parenting. Thus, I won’t. I will, however, provide commentary on what I have learned over the past 21 days.

I LOVED my grandparents. I was obsessed. During my childhood, I preferred spending time with them over my own parents – after all, Grandma Arlene and Grandpa Fred let me stay up as late as I desired, let me eat all the candy at all hours of the day and night, and I don’t ever recall a chore needing to be done. Time with them was heaven.

Evie, in her short little lifespan, has followed in her mama’s footsteps and has quickly grown to love her grandparents and maybe even prefer their company.

When Evie arrived, I felt SO confident. SO assured. I got this. I was going to do it all. I was going to bake, learn new recipes (all while mastering the baby-wearing-wrap), read all the fiction AND non-fiction I desired. Catch-up on the Real Housewives AND geopolitics (jk). The house would be clean, I would shower every day, put moisturizer on my child and obviously, I would put on pants every freaking day. Plus, I would detail Evie’s moments, fill out her baby book, and put her in all the cute things we had bought.

Ha.

HaHaHaHaHa.

Except for taking a million pictures a second and putting Evie in all the things (out of necessity due to the constant vomit and baby poo,) I was a complete, and utter, failure. God bless my parents. Man did they step up. And they WANTED to. They spent SO MANY nights with us, so Phil and I could get a full nights’ sleep. It was capital “A” Amazing. I joked with people that I was “way more rested than I should be.” Oh, how the mighty fall.

What I failed to realize was, in granting Phil and I full night’s sleep, they were giving Evie everything she wanted (shocking, I know.) They took shifts at night. Fed her at a moment’s cry or whimper. She was literally never laid down. She got to sleep in the loving arms of one grandparent, while the other one watched over and make a bottle when needed (or wanted.) And then they would switch terms.

This all sounds great, except for when the inevitable time came from the grandparents to go home (and rest) and for Phil to go back to work. The “lasez-faire” sleeping attitude didn’t work out so well. Evie REFUSED to sleep if she was out of someone’s arms. I mean cry-bloody-murder, mommy’s pinching me, kind of screaming. And the moment she was picked up, our princess was happy as a clam.

Monster!

With both parents not working for a beat, we could manage this. We just existed in Evie’s schedule, and Evie existed in our arms.

When we figured out the catalyst to our dilemma (grandparents) we realized things needed to change. A child that refused to sleep in a bassinet was not an option. After all, we’re nearly-forty-year-old adults with jobs and responsibilities, and frankly, we need (we like) our sleep.

So, 3 weeks in and here we are, trying to set a schedule for us all to follow. A baby-in-the-bassinet kind of schedule. And low and behold, my parents have been more than happy to oblige. They are so freaking in love with this little 8-pound creature, they are willing to follow whatever protocol we create. All they want is time with their granddaughter. And if this time is with her wrapped like a burrito, pacifier in mouth, not-to-be-disturbed-except-at-specific-intervals, so be it.

Thinking back, I don’t know if my mom ever had a conversation with Grandma Arlene about the boundaries and protocols she wanted. I’m guessing she did. After all, I remember sucking on a pacifier at my grandparents’ home (meaning, I was old enough to create memories,) and then one day, the pacifiers disappeared. Regardless of the boundaries set, I never had to wonder how much my grandparents loved me. It’s a pretty remarkable feeling knowing Evie gets this same experience. Bassinet and sleep be damned.🌷