4 days First valentine’s day
🌷Valentine’s Day.
During my single days, when I had no significant other to celebrate V day with, and for the past few years, Valentine’s Day was the last holiday I had any interest in celebrating. How many times have you heard someone say, “it’s a made-up holiday by greeting card companies.”?
Celebrating love is difficult, if not impossible, when you are single and don’t want to be single. The idea of celebrating love is excruciating when your heart is split into a million pieces that can only be mended by the arrival of a baby.
During our time together, Phil and I have always celebrated Valentine’s Day. The celebration always involved some sort of delicious food, and Phil always gave a thoughtful gift. I have always known I am a lucky, lucky lady to be with a man who will celebrate his love, even if it’s for an invented holiday. I thought I didn’t care about celebrating until I was with someone who wanted to celebrate with me, for us, simply because it was a way to celebrate us finding each other (corny, but true.)
Over the past couple years, the celebration felt forced. Valentine’s Day last year, I had just finished my second round of IVF and was waiting to hear back on the genetic results of our embryos, and we were deep in the process of preparing Kimmy for the third embryo transfer. Phil and I still ate, drank wine and opened on February 14, 2024, but there was a deep hole in both our hearts. We were uncertain of our future, painfully aware of our lost little loves, and so badly wanted to celebrate this “day of love” with a baby.
Fast forward to this year, and we have our little Evie to celebrate Valentine’s Day as a party of three (actually 4)! One of my girlfriends reached out and asked if she could take care of Evie for the evening so Phil and I could have a date night out!
We are closing in on 12 weeks of being parents, and frankly, a date night ALONE sounded like magic. We jumped at the opportunity and planned an evening out.
Long story short, we had to cancel on my friend, and instead celebrate Valentine’s Day as a family of three Days (actually, four to be more accurate: #Darlaslifematters.) Now, I can’t imagine having it any other way.
Phil said that he hoped I wasn’t disappointed in our changed Valentine’s Day plans (our time alone is limited right now, and I certainly miss it.) Funny thing, my gut reaction to him wasn’t disappointment. It was joy.
I got to celebrate Valentine’s Day 2025 with my husband, daughter, and Darla. There is absolutely nothing disappointing about that. Date nights will come back. Alone time will come back. But a potentially made-up holiday where we are celebrating love (again, corny….) that is a dream come true.
If you asked me one year ago (or two….or three…..) what my perfect Valentine’s Day would look like, it was the one we had this past week. Me, Evie, Phillie, and Darla, hanging out as a family of four Days.🌷
